It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
