god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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