I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
