how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
