I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize