I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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