just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
