There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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