We won't sleep together?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
