What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
