She said her name was "party"
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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