Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
