You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
