We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
