I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize