I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
