my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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