Do you still have your period?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my shit smells like andre
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
