I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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