So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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