Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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