i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize