This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
