just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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