look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
