I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
North Korea, Best Korea!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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