Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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