I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
