Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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