all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
