I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
