let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
