i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
