My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
