I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
