What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
operation harelip BJ is a go
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
