I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize