Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
