Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
