I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
