Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
