Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
