I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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