One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
