apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
