I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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