honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
