Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize