For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
