If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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