So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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