Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
