so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
