Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
