Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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