girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
