I'm gonna have a badass scar
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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