right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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