I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
