i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
