Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
